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Wednesday, 31 August 2016

On The Farsh-nuke And The Lore Of The Multiverse

On The Farsh-nuke And The Lore Of The Multiverse

By
Alexander Gordon Jahans

The Farsh-nuke is a mistake, quite literally created by accident and he is a monster. A wretched abhorrent thing. I have tried to kill him many times but I can never quite let him stay dead. He always comes back. Perhaps because he is my shadow.

The Farsh-nuke was, once upon a time, just another word for me but the character evolved and changed overtime as plot and the different circumstances caused that to become distant. The Farsh-nuke is the monster I feel I am at my most self loathing and the unstoppable casanova part of me imagines I could be at my best. When I need to analyse my state of mind I have the Farsh-nuke interrogate me. The Farsh-nuke for that reason must stay removed from the fiction and yet can never stay removed from my fiction.

I keep trying to redeem the Farsh-nuke somehow but I think I have stumbled upon the best approach to him, to keep him in the shadows. The stories I write now are not about the Farsh-nuke and he barely, if at all, features yet he is all the more powerful as an idea for it.  The Farsh-nuke was a piece of grit in an oyster to make a pearl, a speck of dust around which a snowflake formed. The Sylphs, the Weresharks, the Logicios and the Bam-Kursh are all indelibly bound to the Farsh-nuke and so by focusing on them the threat and power of the Farsh-nuke is so much greater displayed, allowing for him to not show his face because of the sense that Farsh-nuke is orchestrating things behind the scenes.

Besides which I find there is something far more interesting about sylph domesticity and the Bam-Kursh's uncaring manipulations. The Farsh-nuke is rage and lust, a creative ingenuity and brutal force of will. By contrast the Bam-Kursh is uncaring, selfish, logical, manipulative and persistent. the Farsh-nuke falls in love with his sylphs, the Bam-Kursh makes her toys fall in love with her. And it is interesting to watch the sylphs and the toys adapt to their lives and try to achieve their ends.

It is oddly appropriate that there is seemingly a pseudo religious meme cult in my name now given that the Farsh-nuke was at one point portrayed as a deconstruction of the Christian monomyth. And this plays into the lore of the multiverse as the Farsh-nuke is at once physically weaker and yet much more powerful by the standards of deities. He is not the anti-hero anymore, instead he is the old wizard who has seen so much as to be practically omniscient, particularly given his awareness of the fourth wall.

As for the multiverse? Well the war of the Septagonoids is over and a new era of peace ruled by sylphs begins but the question is, just why were the sylphs created in the first place? What terrified a great and powerful race so much that they sought to create the sylphs for their own protection?

My writing is not the serious endeavour I thought it was. Instead it's become like my videos, something I do for my own benefit that others are free to partake in. I feel like this is part of growing up, that the pulp of the past has given way to more mature philosophical questions and more nuanced and deep conflicts than Ooogadyboos from the planet Zarg looking to invade. Except that's what Doctor Who is and always will be fundamentally. I guess that's partly why I am more interested in Game of Thrones now.






I Squicked Myself Out With My Writing

Sunday, 28 August 2016

On Letsplays, Life Style And Hope

Confession Time

Confession Time

By
Alexander Gordon Jahans


It is an interesting thing coming out of depression as I finally break through the last crest of an unfortunately stalled puberty. Its like picking through the rubble after a battle. The propagandas of the godly defenders and devilish invaders is laid bare as just humans squabbling in the mud. When you live your whole life trying to be good but fearing that you're not then you construct a narrative that you are at once holier than thou, utterly beautiful and fiercely intelligent while batting off fears that you are a monstrous, disgusting imbecile. The truth is I am neither.

I am melodramatic, stubborn, petulant, vengeful, sadistic, bitchy, institutionalized, socially peculiar - oscillating between naivety and paranoia, unable to rule and unhappy following rules I don't agree with. But I try to be moral, nice and compassionate, to check my privilege and advance the cause of feminism.

The fact of the matter is that I am the monster that fights monsters, however more mundane the reality. I am a bigoted, occasionally misogynistic and transphobic freak of a man who loves conflict. There is a reason I write fiction. If I can't be in centre of conflict I'll create it on the page. The boy who used to build endlessly in Minecraft has become a man who murders and pillages across Skyrim. I could never have belonged in the JQ2 or indeed any safe space because I am a drama queen and I need to be safe in my well fortified youtube castle raining fire down on the trolls below. I'm actually kind of overjoyed the Daily Shoah picked a fight with me, Zarquon help my soul. And now my family is terrified and blaming me for the threats the trolls pose but this is where I belong, this is what I'm good at. I am the freak with the hatebase, dodging bullets as my channel rises to the heavens.

I am a proud idiot of a man with nothing important to my name but I have many friends that I could talk to if I wished and yet I don't. I like the bullying, I like the dance, I like the chance to spar with my enemies from a position of strength. I do miss the greater challenge and I think I will do volunteering again as I work towards some kind of more practical job qualification but I need the conflict. I don't get to retire to the countryside with 2.4 children. I am a regulated capitalist in a time of anarcho-capitalism and rising socialism. I am a genetic freak who will never be an Adonis. More than that though I am a domineering amateur manipulator who wants a harem of beautiful submissives but can barely find the courage to ask those I like out on dates.

I have spent my whole life avoiding self destruction very consciously and yet I am a rather self destructive individual. If I was forced to be a vegan living on fruit and veg I'd find a way to binge smoothies unhealthily, as it is I am drinking diet coke at 2 am and I have a peanut butter, margarine and ketch up sandwich waiting for me when I finish this.

This self destructiveness comes out in absurd ways. There are two stories that I want to write now, both are basically at points where they would be utter joys to write... And so I don't. Because fuck me, right. I could write scenes that I would greatly enjoy writing, so I don't just to piss myself off. Like how I always convince myself I don't like showers until I'm having one and then it's quite genuinely better than an orgasm. I genuinely, very very genuinely, hate myself. To the point where if I absolutely must do something I will slap myself as motivation because otherwise I must leave the task undone and let the shit role in.

I don't keep talking about morality and my rules because I'm saint, I talk about them so damned much because I know that if I didn't have them I would be a thousand times more of an arsehole than I currently am and I need to remind myself. Heck just check out my letsplays to see what happens when there genuinely are no consequences in video games. I mean of course it's vastly different since it's a mindless fiction but that's the point, no consequences includes no breaking of morality. A good man doesn't need rules to stop him being a shit, a good man just isn't interested in being a shit even if there are no negative consequences and indeed there are perks.

There is part of me that thinks I should die for my sins, and for my being a burden on my family, especially if the trolls are scaring them. Yet my own morality stops me. My morality would force me to try and offer redemption to Hitler and Stalin and Thatcher, so how the fuck can I justify the death sentence for myself? I'm not going to kill myself and I want to live but I am so aware that I am a weird arsehole of a man unable to financially support himself.

The worst part of my hatebase, of Esoteric Jahanism, isn't the trolls, or the doxxing or even the threats against my family, they've all faced far far worse, it's the idea that it could lift me up out of poverty only to drop me back there because I have no fucking idea how to maintain a hate following. How does a lolcow ensure people keep coming back to try and milk it? I mean it's working so far. I appear to have a natural talent for freakishness but how do I live to my eighties on it? That's why I want to keep the plates spinning and branch out into letsplays and reviews and never let my channel just be home to those who want to suckle at my teets. I cannot let my success be limited to thev freakshow effect or the longevity of my series is way too uncertain.

I am a shit who loves drama and conflict and wants people to kneel before him and yet I also want to suffer. I am one strange fucker. But anyway, that's who I am. Alexander Gordon Jahans. The man who writes fiction about submissive women who can heal being consensually eaten alive and the man who makes money telling a load of racist misogynistic capitalists, that immigration, feminism and socialism are the best things for the world.





Young Men Are Sort Of Lost And Without Direction

Saturday, 27 August 2016

Lets Try Recording Skyrim Using OBS

OBS successful test recording

OBS error log

07:46:46.695: CPU Name: Intel(R) Core(TM) i5-2320 CPU @ 3.00GHz
07:46:46.695: CPU Speed: 2993MHz
07:46:46.695: Physical Cores: 4, Logical Cores: 4
07:46:46.695: Physical Memory: 2047MB Total, 2047MB Free (NOTE: 2 or 4 gigs max is normal for 32bit programs)
07:46:46.695: Windows Version: 10.0 Build 10586 (revision: 0)
07:46:46.696: Running as administrator: false
07:46:46.696: Aero is Enabled (Aero is always on for windows 8 and above)
07:46:46.706: OBS 0.15.4 (windows)
07:46:46.706: ---------------------------------
07:46:46.707: ---------------------------------
07:46:46.707: audio settings reset:
07:46:46.707: samples per sec: 44100
07:46:46.707: speakers:        2
07:46:46.956: ---------------------------------
07:46:46.956: video settings reset:
07:46:46.956: base resolution:   1440x900
07:46:46.956: output resolution: 1152x720
07:46:46.956: fps:               30/1
07:46:46.956: format:            NV12
07:46:46.957: ---------------------------------
07:46:46.964: [CoreAudio encoder]: Adding CoreAudio AAC encoder
07:46:46.971: Required module function 'obs_module_load' in module '../../obs-plugins/32bit/libcef.dll' not found, loading of module failed
07:46:46.971: Required module function 'obs_module_load' in module '../../obs-plugins/32bit/libEGL.dll' not found, loading of module failed
07:46:46.972: Required module function 'obs_module_load' in module '../../obs-plugins/32bit/libGLESv2.dll' not found, loading of module failed
07:46:46.973: Failed to load 'en-US' text for module: 'obs-browser.dll'
07:46:46.974: LoadLibrary failed for 'nvEncodeAPI.dll', error: 126
07:46:47.031: VLC found, VLC video source enabled
07:46:52.061: No blackmagic support
07:46:52.068: ---------------------------------
07:46:52.068:   Loaded Modules:
07:46:52.068:     win-wasapi.dll
07:46:52.068:     win-mf.dll
07:46:52.068:     win-dshow.dll
07:46:52.068:     win-decklink.dll
07:46:52.068:     win-capture.dll
07:46:52.068:     vlc-video.dll
07:46:52.068:     text-freetype2.dll
07:46:52.068:     rtmp-services.dll
07:46:52.068:     obs-x264.dll
07:46:52.069:     obs-transitions.dll
07:46:52.069:     obs-qsv11.dll
07:46:52.069:     obs-outputs.dll
07:46:52.069:     obs-filters.dll
07:46:52.069:     obs-ffmpeg.dll
07:46:52.069:     obs-browser.dll
07:46:52.069:     image-source.dll
07:46:52.069:     coreaudio-encoder.dll
07:46:52.069: ==== Startup complete ===============================================
07:46:52.080: All scene data cleared
07:46:52.080: ------------------------------------------------
07:46:52.098: WASAPI: Device 'Speakers (Realtek High Definition Audio)' initialized
07:46:52.103: WASAPI: Device 'Microphone (Webcam Pro 9000)' initialized
07:46:52.105: Switched to scene 'Scene'
07:46:52.105: ------------------------------------------------
07:46:52.105: Loaded scenes:
07:46:52.105: - scene 'Scene':
07:46:52.105:     - source: 'Game Capture' (game_capture)
07:46:52.105: ------------------------------------------------
07:46:52.181: adding 23 milliseconds of audio buffering, total audio buffering is now 23 milliseconds
07:46:52.748: Update check: last known remote version is 0.15.4
07:46:54.091: ==== Shutting down ==================================================
07:46:54.093: Switched to scene '(null)'
07:46:54.105: WASAPI: Device 'Speakers (Realtek High Definition Audio)' Terminated
07:46:54.110: WASAPI: Device 'Microphone (Webcam Pro 9000)' Terminated
07:46:54.111: All scene data cleared
07:46:54.111: ------------------------------------------------
07:46:54.144: Freeing OBS context data
07:46:54.160: == Profiler Results =============================
07:46:54.160: run_program_init: 5461.08 ms
07:46:54.160:  ┣OBSApp::AppInit: 2.214 ms
07:46:54.160:  ┃ ┗OBSApp::InitLocale: 1.2 ms
07:46:54.160:  ┗OBSApp::OBSInit: 5451.8 ms
07:46:54.160:    ┣obs_startup: 1.773 ms
07:46:54.160:    ┗OBSBasic::OBSInit: 5423.57 ms
07:46:54.160:      ┣OBSBasic::InitBasicConfig: 0.571 ms
07:46:54.160:      ┣OBSBasic::ResetAudio: 0.428 ms
07:46:54.160:      ┣OBSBasic::ResetVideo: 249.974 ms
07:46:54.160:      ┣OBSBasic::InitOBSCallbacks: 0.013 ms
07:46:54.160:      ┣OBSBasic::InitHotkeys: 0.047 ms
07:46:54.161:      ┣obs_load_all_modules: 5110.67 ms
07:46:54.161:      ┃ ┣obs_init_module(coreaudio-encoder.dll): 5.504 ms
07:46:54.161:      ┃ ┣obs_init_module(image-source.dll): 0.003 ms
07:46:54.161:      ┃ ┣obs_init_module(obs-browser.dll): 0.065 ms
07:46:54.161:      ┃ ┣obs_init_module(obs-ffmpeg.dll): 0.638 ms
07:46:54.161:      ┃ ┣obs_init_module(obs-filters.dll): 0.009 ms
07:46:54.161:      ┃ ┣obs_init_module(obs-outputs.dll): 0.002 ms
07:46:54.161:      ┃ ┣obs_init_module(obs-qsv11.dll): 45.276 ms
07:46:54.161:      ┃ ┣obs_init_module(obs-transitions.dll): 0.007 ms
07:46:54.161:      ┃ ┣obs_init_module(obs-x264.dll): 0.002 ms
07:46:54.161:      ┃ ┣obs_init_module(rtmp-services.dll): 0.342 ms
07:46:54.161:      ┃ ┣obs_init_module(text-freetype2.dll): 2.124 ms
07:46:54.161:      ┃ ┣obs_init_module(vlc-video.dll): 0.698 ms
07:46:54.161:      ┃ ┣obs_init_module(win-capture.dll): 5025.08 ms
07:46:54.161:      ┃ ┣obs_init_module(win-decklink.dll): 3.803 ms
07:46:54.161:      ┃ ┣obs_init_module(win-dshow.dll): 1.268 ms
07:46:54.161:      ┃ ┣obs_init_module(win-mf.dll): 1.547 ms
07:46:54.161:      ┃ ┣obs_init_module(win-wasapi.dll): 0.004 ms
07:46:54.161:      ┃ ┗reset_win32_symbol_paths: 0.451 ms
07:46:54.161:      ┣OBSBasic::ResetOutputs: 9.363 ms
07:46:54.161:      ┣OBSBasic::CreateHotkeys: 0.235 ms
07:46:54.161:      ┣OBSBasic::InitService: 0.259 ms
07:46:54.161:      ┣OBSBasic::InitPrimitives: 0.304 ms
07:46:54.161:      ┗OBSBasic::Load: 26.444 ms
07:46:54.161: obs_hotkey_thread(25 ms): min=0.003 ms, median=0.006 ms, max=0.165 ms, 99th percentile=0.083 ms, 100% below 25 ms
07:46:54.161: audio_thread(Audio): min=0 ms, median=0.014 ms, max=0.182 ms, 99th percentile=0.072 ms
07:46:54.161: obs_video_thread(33.3333 ms): min=0.876 ms, median=1.047 ms, max=35.192 ms, 99th percentile=16.933 ms, 99.5349% below 33.333 ms
07:46:54.162:  ┣tick_sources: min=0.001 ms, median=0.001 ms, max=0.306 ms, 99th percentile=0.015 ms
07:46:54.162:  ┣render_displays: min=0.134 ms, median=0.176 ms, max=34.252 ms, 99th percentile=1.26 ms
07:46:54.162:  ┗output_frame: min=0.652 ms, median=0.808 ms, max=16.754 ms, 99th percentile=13.374 ms
07:46:54.162:    ┣gs_context(video->graphics): min=0.419 ms, median=0.585 ms, max=16.753 ms, 99th percentile=13.138 ms
07:46:54.162:    ┃ ┣render_video: min=0.34 ms, median=0.489 ms, max=16.617 ms, 99th percentile=11.327 ms
07:46:54.162:    ┃ ┃ ┣render_main_texture: min=0.053 ms, median=0.073 ms, max=1.094 ms, 99th percentile=0.691 ms
07:46:54.162:    ┃ ┃ ┣render_output_texture: min=0.003 ms, median=0.171 ms, max=10.671 ms, 99th percentile=8.657 ms
07:46:54.162:    ┃ ┃ ┣render_convert_texture: min=0.001 ms, median=0.112 ms, max=7.24 ms, 99th percentile=0.214 ms
07:46:54.162:    ┃ ┃ ┗stage_output_texture: min=0 ms, median=0.085 ms, max=8.719 ms, 99th percentile=0.368 ms
07:46:54.162:    ┃ ┣download_frame: min=0 ms, median=0.005 ms, max=12.406 ms, 99th percentile=0.042 ms
07:46:54.162:    ┃ ┗gs_flush: min=0 ms, median=0.001 ms, max=0.05 ms, 99th percentile=0.008 ms
07:46:54.162:    ┗output_video_data: min=0.207 ms, median=0.221 ms, max=0.638 ms, 99th percentile=0.482 ms
07:46:54.162: video_thread(video): min=0.001 ms, median=0.001 ms, max=0.039 ms, 99th percentile=0.003 ms
07:46:54.162: =================================================
07:46:54.162: == Profiler Time Between Calls ==================
07:46:54.162: obs_hotkey_thread(25 ms): min=24.943 ms, median=25.086 ms, max=26.171 ms, 91.8367% within ±2% of 25 ms (0% lower, 8.16327% higher)
07:46:54.162: obs_video_thread(33.3333 ms): min=31.448 ms, median=33.333 ms, max=35.199 ms, 99.0654% within ±2% of 33.333 ms (0.46729% lower, 0.46729% higher)
07:46:54.162: =================================================
07:46:54.169: Number of memory leaks: 1

My Own Personal Unrealistic Utopia

My Own Personal Unrealistic Utopia

By
Alexander Gordon Jahans


So I tried to confine myself when I last wrote about utopia but this time I won't because if I am going to embrace the hedonistic imperitive it only makes sense that I outline what for me is a utopia.

First off this utopia is close to the technological singularity but hasn't passed it yet. There is effective post-scarcity and welfare programs are all but a universal basic income. Yet Capitalism limps on, something I will go into more depth about later. Strict taxes on carbon emissions that exclude space craft have both helped to curb the worst excesses of climate change and incentivised private space travel to such an extent that technology and infrastructure has advanced to the point that we have colonies in space. 

I mean the colonies are basically just New Israel (allowing Palestine to retake most of its former territory), The White Nationalist Protected Zone (leaving the world free of its worst racists [and ensuring pretty white women never go extinct]), Norther Korea (Actually a democratic and egalitarian society that barely plays lip service to the politics of the real North Korea) and Putin's Fist. (Russia's own colony in space in case America decides it likes the look of nuking Russia.) These colonies were built at the Lagrange points early on but America has since built a colony on the moon, 3 colonies on Mars and is sending ark ships out to colonise the rest of the universe. With Russia and China doing their best to keep up. 

The United Kingdom has become The Republican Union of Great Britain, or RUGBY, after the entire union disintegrated, leaving England alone with crippling debts and arsehole establishment politicians who eventually were forced to acknowledge that the poor outnumber the rich and if they have no job, nothing to eat and nothing to do then perhaps taxing the crap out of them to pay for your champagne as you sit in gold chairs eating steak is not a good idea. It wasn't a revolution per se but the English no longer speak of the gun powder plot when they want to express their severe anger at the government. Now the English have proportional representation, renationalised railways, a renationalised NHS and effective UBI with proper taxes for the rich and a monarchy that limps on for the sake of tradition but with a much different attitude. The monarchy now serves as the canary in the coal mine for the politicians, living like the average citizenry and without bodyguards. If they are threatened then they will pass on the distaste to parliament to address concerns.

The European Union has been scrapped and reformed with a different currency framework in mind. Each country retains its own currency but the Euro acts as a super currency, existing just for the sake of easing conversions. 

America has invested heavily in a well trained police force with extensive infrastructure across all its territories following a backlash to Black Lives Matter. Further backlashes led to increasing gun control in stages as first Americans argued against blacks having guns then the Latinos and Irish immigrants before finally the gun control was applied to the White Americans. By this point all the arguing about "Well it's just so easy to build a gun..." and "Why don't you come and take them?" was rendered moot as police were now wearing the latest graphene armour and carrying plasma blasters capable of melting a gun with a single shot. Who would have thought that the alt-right would end up being the downfall for the American racists and gun lovers? It's almost as if strengthening the enforcers of governmental will, even against your enemies, will have consequences against yourself at some point. Good luck 3d printing a plasma thrower by the way, since they are more expensive than a tank.

The Education System has received a massive overhaul with smaller class sizes and a syllabus focusing on what will actually be needed to live in the new world with introductory courses to help students decide what vocations they want to pick.

Cattle farming has all but stopped, replaced by industrial cultured meat production. Related discoveries and industry techniques has vastly improved the working life span of the average person since brains aside everything else can be grown cheaply and replaced. As a side effect most people remain young looking until well into their 400s, unless they're making a statement or just that comfortable with ageing.

The Simulated Brains Project has teamed up with right to die clinics and as a result their results are fast improving. Computer brain interfaces have similarly much improved by teaming up with various health providers for brain scan data.

Real Sapience and sentience is still a long way off but improvements on human like walking robots have been making quiet progress and with new meta-materials allowing for human sized walking robots that are light enough to catch and hold have resulted in a new interest in them. Prior to this companion robots were basically just seals, cats, dogs or otherwise small fluffy animals. The change in technological development of walking robots was first seized upon by film studios looking to use practical effects and avoid killing their cast. Then once enough studios showed enough interest to warrant mass manufacturing them deals were struck to start selling the robots as rare expensive live size hyper realistic action figures.

At this point you have lightweight walking robots that look human, uncannily human, in the possession of nerds. It did not take long for the first porno made using hacked walking robots to get onto the internet. I mean it was artistically a piece of crap since the robots were just designed to walk but the idea was there and it was so fucking weird that it spread virally and you better believe porn companies saw the potential, if only for the same reasons film companies used them, to avoid harm to their best actors.

People have of course been working on sex bots for basically as long as technology has existed but lust is not the best route to quality (as my own writing can attest). Now you had directors, special effects experts, businessmen working together to make sure the end result worked. One thing decided early on was to go for a slight stylisation to avoid the uncanny making the products terrifying. They went back to the manufacturers and started heavily investing making the base robots able to perform a wider array of actions than just walking with a larger memory drive for actions. As that was being worked on they teamed up with game designers working on AI for VR and AR to record motion capture of their best actors and actresses at work so as to begin compiling a library of basic actions.

At the same time as this development in sex bots was happening society at large was becoming much more accepting of sex as an industry with the legalisation of sex work in most parts of the world and America taking a novel approach to the problem of student debt by basically formalising sugar daddies and sugar mamas into the economy so that graduates had the option to sell themselves as a sex toy to wealthy individuals. And with the free market it wasn't long before America was exporting its young towards the rest of the world, causing similar movements in countries with poor job prospects for graduates with high debt. Especially as social liberalism had all but conquered the world so it was entirely possible to sell yourself to someone and never perform a single sexual acts. This actually had a part to play in the new socialism as suddenly the rich were opening themselves up to classes and creeds far different from their own.

So we have a world already accepting the idea of the young and beautiful as sex objects to be bought and sold as the porn, film and game industry work on developing better human looking and behaving robots, then you remember that by this point privacy is dead and there is data on everyone able to be bought for a price. And this is the age where wearable technology comes as standard and augmented reality is just an everyday part of life.

People are already used to communicating audibly with a machine that will display real life quest markers or highlight what they need and frequently people will by virtual girlfriends that only exist in augmented reality. Haptic feedback suits now exist but people are just used to not having them. None of these AI are anywhere close to sentient or sapient but as programs working on complex algorithms they do a close enough approximation for people to accept.

So the robots are produced. First for the film and porn industry then the fetish scene. This is the age of piracy when the only way people make money is through convenience, an appeal to the audience and general good will. Videos, VR and AR experiences, can be pirated and so will be but you can't pirate a robot with a sizeable mark up. Well not immediately at least. There thus began a race to find and make famous more and more porn stars and actors so that robots of them can be sold. Then the video games industry played its hand offering robots of their characters as top tier pre-order bonuses. This led to its own technological race as companies outdid themselves further and further until eventually it was common to synchronise in-game AI with the robots.

To be clear these robots would absolutely fail a Turing Test and this was observable in the wild as it was not uncommon to see businessmen with their university graduate fucktoys on the same trains as NEETs with their preorder bonus sex toys. Except the manufacturers weren't trying to pass the Turing Test and indeed the university graduate fuck toys were generally regarded as inferior to the sex bots for three reasons. 1. Sex bots were much cheaper and easier to maintain. 2. The sex bots could always be reprogrammed and were very obedient. 3. A sex bot had an off button.

Eventually even America tackled its student debt problem and the graduate fuck toys all but went away though it remains an option for graduates and it's now not unusual for submissives to sell themselves to their doms, even at the age of 300.

With technology so pervasive privacy is dead, crime has drastically reduced, even the very poorest enjoy a comfortable standard of living and the increasing investment in space exploration and colonisation has kept capitalism turning so technology is still advancing and media retains an inherently populist and quality producer.

Oh and we have dragons and shark men now. Prosthetics and robotics are just that good. 













Friday, 26 August 2016

I Have Discovered Hedonism

Hallelujah

Hallelujah

By
Alexander Gordon Jahans


I am a man wracked by self doubt and self loathing. For this reason I have found solace and wisdom in utilitarian rationality but what the fuck do you do when you enter a point in your life, in society, when the utilitarian needs are met but thus you have no purpose? It's like getting maxxed skill tress in skyrim. Grinding done, now what?

The hedonistic imperitive.

When the needs are met do the most pleasurable thing. I am a fucking idiot for not realising this sooner.






Hello Darkness My Old Friend

Hello Darkness My Old Friend

By
Alexander Gordon Jahans


I like life. I do. I like youtube and writing and videogames. I don't actually want to die. Except living is not enough. My entire life I have had purpose, a thing to strive for and get. I have lurched my way to most of my targets and now I think that, shittyness of the government not withstanding, I can actually live, I can survive. Oh I'll keep striving to get a job and a girlfriend but... well look at me, I am a freak with very generic skills and no experience in a world of internships and technological unemployment.

I feel in my heart a great yearning to be with someone and chase my fantasies but I'm also a realist so at best that's a long term goal. I need a purpose to life. A thing to do. Something intellectually stimulating. Letsplays could have been that maybe but my computer is shit. So I don't know what to do.

Fuck.









Monday, 22 August 2016

A Ramble About Life Right Now

On The AltRight and Neo Conservatism

So What Next

So What Next

An Autoexposiprose
By
Alexander Gordon Jahans


"So, what next?" asked the Farsh-nuke as I lay gasping for breath. "You leapt head first into the abyss and it spat you back out. What are you gonna do now?"

"Keep going, doing what I always do, survive." I say as I get to my feet.

"You're going to go back to a world of podcasts, Skyrim and failed letsplays." said the Farsh-nuke, smirking. "That's your grand plan."

I stare at him. We're on a beach somewhere far below the cliffs of my mind. "It worked so far and anyway you know I don't plan."

"Oh that's right, I forgot. You lurch..." said the Farsh-nuke sneering at me, wringing his hands in frustration.

"Yeah..." I say with a shrug, heading off up the beach, far from the lunging range of lurking sharks.

The Farsh-nuke strides after me. "You survived the abyss. You stared headlong into it and now, what? Chips and gravy? Tearful wanks? Yet more pointless baiting of the haters?"

"It's my life." I say, sighing.

"No." said the Farsh-nuke, stopping and shaking his head. "You can be more, you can be so much more."

I pause in my steps and turn to glare at him.

The Farsh-nuke holds my gaze, deathly serious.  "What are you afraid of?"

"I have no money..." I say pointedly.

"You have enough." said the Farsh-nuke, glaring at me now.

" I just..." The words dry in my mouth. "I just..."

"You are not the boy you once were." said the Farsh-nuke meaningfully.

"No. He would never have done the things I did this year." I say bitterly.

The Farsh-nuke shook his head. "Young Alex was a fool. A noble persistent martyr of a fool. You know better. You know people, you can read them, you can handle yourself."

I grimace and grit my teeth. "I was betrayed and back stabbed by people I thought were friends, My mother has been lying to me my entire life and I failed at pushing my father out of the house when he was sitting in a wheeled chair."

The Farsh-nuke nodded. "Not great, I'll grant you but the world isn't full of dragons and zombies. There are no supernatural threats only fallible people and those experiences have made you wiser, bolder, less timid." The Farsh-nuke looked me in the eye. "You stared the betrayal of your friends and mother and your own emotions in the eye and you know better now. You can look after yourself."

"Except I can't." I say. "I need money and a roof over my head, I need injections and pills and cream. I am a wreck, a mess. I should be dead."

"Yet you aren't." said the Farsh-nuke with a smile. "I'm not saying that you are completely independent. Nobody is. I'm saying that you can function on your own, that if trouble arises you can deal with it without crying or running away. you can go out there and seize life by the bloody balls."

I burst out laughing. "I'm a geek! My life, my home is a computer."

"It wasn't with Matthew." said the Farsh-nuke.

The laughter freezes in my throat.

"You gave up everything to be with him. Your home, your volunteering, your benefits, even your youtube, facebook and friends. When your computers were fixed you barely used them and you devoted yourself to him utterly." said the Farsh-nuke.

My nostrils flare and narrow my eyes at the Farsh-nuke. "I had no choice and even then it didn't work."

"Like bullshit, it didn't." said the Farsh-nuke. "There were problems, big problems, but you were happy with him. Happier than any fucking bingewatch or game session."

"So what should I do?" I ask.

"Find someone." said the Farsh-nuke simply.

"I've tried..." I begin to say.

"You and I both know that the internet makes people fussy." said the Farsh-nuke. "Go out, drink, talk to people."

"But what if...?" I groan and gesture down below.

The Farsh-nuke snorts.

I glare at him.

The Farsh-nuke sighs. "We live in an age where people are having a go at authors for writing fiction that reflects distressing situations. I'm fairly certain that whoever you do find will respect when you say no and if they don't you're bloody big. And if you do decide to go through with things and they take dissatisfaction with things you were better off without them anyway."

"How do I begin though?" I ask.

"Hello often works." said the Farsh-nuke pointedly. "Don't kid yourself. You ain't going to land your dream girl on the first try but at the moment you are barely trying."

I groan and look up the hill. "I'm not good with people, the shame it... It's not good for me."

"You seem to manage fine with nearly two thousand racists using you as a freak show." said the Farsh-nuke pointedly.

"That makes me money and I am in complete control." I say dryly.

"So you're fine with two thousand people who think you're a freak laughing at your tits but you're not fine with one hypothetical woman saying no to a drink from you?" said the Farsh-nuke. "Or does money really mean more to you then your greatest fantasy?"

"I'm ugly and broke." I say finally.

"How do you know?" said the Farsh-nuke.

I whip my head back round to glare at him. "Are you serious?"

"Beauty and poverty is in the eye of the beholder." said the Farsh-nuke. "And the more your hate base grows the more your income will too. Plus, lest we forget your physical fitness is on a steady upward path at the moment."

"But my mother..." I begin.

"Your mother can hear about your love life from your videos like the rest of your hate base and if she won't understand privacy get a lock on your door. " said the Farsh-nuke.

I groan and rake my face. "You don't understand."

"No, I don't because you created me to be confident but here's the thing Alex, I think you're confident, or getting there at least. Go, find someone. Fuck the racists, fuck the politics and fuck the damned writing. Go out and talk to people." said the Farsh-nuke.

"I'll get bored." I say.

"Then go somewhere with good wifi and bring your tablet." said the Farsh-nuke.

I laugh.

The Farsh-nuke stared at me. "It is okay to be attracted to someone and to ask them out so long as they say no, you know. And you're six foot one, I doubt you're going to get jumped and even if they do isn't it better to die trying to achieve your fantasies than running from the world."

I groan. "I knew I shouldn't have had you ask that question."

The Farsh-nuke snorted. "I'm not really here mate, All this is just you trying to figure out what you want and it turns out that shock of shocks the man who has been writing about submissive women long before he created me wants to meet a submissive woman and now you're a confident person who has stared into the abyss and lived you can do it."

I stare at him as the metaphor collapses.

The Farsh-nuke scratched the back of his head absently then pointed at me. "Oh and try and get the qualifications to be an IT guy yeah, a way to make money and gain experience for when you make a custom rig. Good luck with everything and remember it's not just your self loathing in here."







Saturday, 20 August 2016

My Thoughts On Socialism and Automation

Failure Is The First Step

Failure Is The First Step

By
Alexander Gordon Jahans


How do you build confidence when you have been bullied all your life and your every joy has been fleeting and materialistic? You sink further than you have ever sunk, sink so far that your survival instincts kick in and you start rising back to the surface.

I was lost. I was bought so low that I actually turned to physical aggression. Depressed, self loathing, bored, lonely, emasculated, family disintegrating, family kicking me while I was down. Nothing has changed. I mean I am better physically and mentally but the fundamentals are the same. I am just as fucked as I was when I began the descent, if not more so, yet I feel better.

Don't get me wrong the testosterone helps, a lot. I understand and appreciate my sexuality now and indeed I have, pleasingly, noted that what seemed worryingly like a viscious cycle for ever greater extremes in power imbalanced relationship fantasies has become much more reassuringly mundane and missionary. I am stronger, faster, fitter, better coordinated. I have walked up that fucking hill at least once every 8 days. I now have enough stubbly facial hair that I doubt I will be misgendered in earnest. Except it is more than simple testosterone and exercise. I have lived more in this last year than I did for the entirety of my life before hand.

I was involved in social drama, survived being slandered and saw that my real friends won't depart me. I was doxxed, which was an experience. I delved deep into a man's arsehole and learned that I have a cult.

All these experiences have shaped me, chiseled away at the generic doctor who nerd that I was. Because this all happened after I started to recover from my depression. After that low had tempered me into something stronger. I am not seeking death anymore but I am not afraid of it.

Death has been on my mind a lot the last two years. Hence my fiction getting so very dark. The Consumption of Me being surely the most blatant display of my horrified fascination of the prospect of my own mortality. I am not a killer but I think now that I have the capacity to kill myself with any decently sized sharp knife if it came to it. So I no longer fear poverty or homelessness. Call it an insurance policy against overwhelming suffering.

And now I know I could kill myself if I needed to but that I genuinely do not want to I am free to start building upwards. I used to fear the pain of exercise and muscle ache. When you are used to ceaseless migraines and fighting against the perpetual desire to hurt yourself then walking so far you get blisters and lifting weights despite the exertion being just a tad painful is much more possible.

I said once that I was failing upwards and I have said many times that I don't make plans, where I lurch through the dark. Well in a couple of days I will begin lurching towards every piece of advice I've been given. I'll do volunteering, I'll apply for jobs, I'll keep trying to find dates online, I'll go for walks, lift weights and start running. Who knows, I may even start checking out the local night life and talk to people.

I'm not kidding myself the future for me and my generation looks bleak. We are trapped in Brexit purgatory and whoever becomes President of America we all lose. The racists are getting cocky and automation is going to start removing jobs real soon real noticably. Oh Post Scarcity is still a decade or more off at least, even for Corbyn, but the economic impact isn't.

The world is dark and full of shadows so I am glad to have my insurance policy against impossible odds but personally I am cautiously optimistic. Oh my chances of getting a job may be slim but I can have purpose and I can make progress and I can try to find love.

And that's why I am freaking out so very very bad at the racists. Because so far as I can win at the life I have, I'm winning. Then the zombies lurch from the ground, holding me up and muttering. "But bro  you could at least be open minded about white nationalism." It's not actually scary, just startling. Like, "Now? Fucking now?" It's usually my mother who drops the drama bombs. I half expect that if I did get married some twat would run forward at the "Does anyone object?" bit.

Anyway if racists want to watch videos where I rage at them, they are free to but I am not going on any podcast with dickheads.






Thursday, 18 August 2016

The New Cold War An Arc 2 Fiction

The New Cold War

An Arc 2 Fiction

By
Alexander Gordon Jahans

A short fat bald fellow with tiny hands, an obvious ginger wig and way too much spray tan is being interviewed at a press conference. “Ladies, I am telling you it is yuge and it only gets yuger...”

A young American reporter of Senegalese descent cries out “Richmond Raspberry, I’m with the Daily Socialist, how does it feel to be the official Republican Nominee to be president of the United States of America? Particularly now many in the Republican party are coming out against you and in favour of Margaret May.”

The oversized Oompaloompa in a too tight suit grins like a fat cat. “Well I am honored, truly honored. the Republican party is the party of the working people and, indeed, the socialists. It always has been. My learned colleagues are just trying to be fair to the democratic nominee in the name of promoting democracy. After all with all the talk of me being some kind of demagogue it is important to reassure people that the republican party is the true party of democracy. Even if the supposed democrats shived the honorable Bernie Sanders in the back.”

The reporter smirks. “You’re socialists? Really? I thought that was a dirty word, particularly among billionaires and republicans?”

Raspberry’s smile falters for a moment then it spreads wider, showing off his pearly white teeth. “Oh my dear the Republicans have always been the national party of the socialists and we are very committed to the purity of our ideals. Under us America will be great again.”

Reporter’s faze turns to silent horror.

Raspberry nods, repeating jovial. “I am very serious. We are the national party of the socialists and we will see that all the poor black communities within our country are taken care of.”

“Senior Raspberry!!!” cries a voice.

Raspberry’s gaze and the cameras of the reporters sweep around to wear a man with sunglasses, a long flowing beard and a suit typically associated with Arab sheiks, stands.

Raspberry extends his hands wide toward the stranger. “Welcome, friend, how may I help you?”

The stranger nods approaching through the pack of reporters. “Thank you! Praise be to Galla that I may speak to you. I represent a small online publication deeply concerned with certain esoteric matters that would not usually be concerned with politics. However there is one small area of some concern that I could use your help with.”

Raspberry chuckles, gripping the side of his podium. “Well go ahead. I am well known to be very helpful and wise in even the most esoteric of matters.”

The stranger looks up at the short man on the stage and smiles a sharks toothy smile. “Good... Because you see I have heard talk among the left that voting for May is like voting for the devil over cthulu.”

“Well you may think that but I couldn’t possibly comment” said Raspberry with a smile.

The stranger chuckles. “It is a good meme. Very dank... But tell me, for the sake of my loyal readers, could you take cthulu in a fight, could you truly take on the devil himself.”

Raspberry and the press before him laugh.

The stranger doesn’t, watching Raspberry with cold focus.

Raspberry notices and smiles warmly. “Well I am a good Christian boy so I know how to deal with the devil and as for Cthulu, well if it bleeds we can kill it.”

The stranger nods. “But do you not bleed?”

The room falls silent. The men in suits and shades silently standing beside and either side of Raspberry leave the stage.

Raspberry changes ever so slightly, the bravado shrugged off to be replaced with a cold calculating business man. “I do bleed. I bleed for my country with my every heart beat but I won’t leave this world unchanged. I am not a dictator. This is America, I am but a servant of the people and if I do die my supporters, my friends, will rage like fire across whoever removed their champion from the world. You cannot kill an idea, only silence one of its speakers.”

The stranger nods. “Well my readers will be very pleased to hear that.”

The stranger turned as if to go then he froze removed his shades and started cleaning them with hanky. “We will meet again Mister Raspberry and when we do I hope I can thank you properly for this kindness.”

The stranger looked up into Richard Raspberry’s eyes for a moment.

Richard Raspberry looked into the eyes of the stranger and saw a great green infinite stretching into eternity. For a moment he could see a crashing space ship and great mechanical spiders as men and women fought valiantly against them.

Then the stranger put on his glasses and left the room. Two large men in suits and sunglasses were standing either side of them. One of them quietly said. “If you’d just come this way, Sir.”

The stranger smiled awkwardly.

*

The stranger was thrown violently into an interview room. He had been stripped down his underwear with hand cuffs and chains about his feet. He was a tall Caucasian guy with short brown hair.

There was a large metal table in the room and a couple of metal chairs. At one of them sat a short austere looking woman with grey curly hair in a business suit. She was looking over a file on a tablet pc. “William Shepard Crichton, aged 24, killed with one Lucille Dance, aged 22, by a cowboy on the 20th of August 2019. It is now the 12th of February 2023, would you care to explain how it is you managed to interview the man who could be the next American President 4 years after your death.”

The stranger found his way to a chair and said. “You’re English, like proper Queen’s English. how is it that you are interviewing me when America is such a hotbed of xenophobia.”

The old woman smirked. “Well lets just say that when people who struggle to comprehend race come across something really strange, they outsource.”

“So who am I speaking to?” asked the stranger.

The old woman glared at him. “Who I am is none of your business.”

The stranger shook his head. “I have the right to know who I’m addressing. Russia? Korea? China? New Scotland?”

The old woman chuckled. “Dead men have no rights, Mister Crichton. Now tell me, why aren’t you dead?”

The stranger smirked. “Okay... I am the Farsh-nuke, the Great Farsh-nuke now that the first died to secure the end of the last great Septagonoid war. That cowboy didn’t just kill me, he saved me from a fate far worse than death and he brought me back.”

The old woman nodded, tapping away at her tablet pc. “There are records of a Farsh-nuke in our database but according to our intel they all have a penchant for adventure, monsters and pretty girls. If you were bought back, why stick around? Shouldn’t you have built yourself a way off this rock by now?”

The Farsh-nuke bit his lip and stared at the old woman.

“I asked you a question, Mister Crichton, must we resort to advanced interrogation techniques?” asked the old woman.

The Farsh-nuke looked the old woman in the eyes. “It’s a funny thing really, as the war waged and the Farsh-nukes threw themselves into the meat grinder of the the front lines they amplified their powers, began to reconnect with the other parts of their souls, almost shed the human skin except for nostalgia’s sake. Everything that contained the soul of a Farsh-nuke started to be felt and remembered by the rest.”

“Oh really?” said the old woman with a smirk. “Have any juicy gossip to share?”

The Farsh-nuke nodded. “I remember the Venus Trap.”

The Farsh-nuke sat back in his chair watching the old woman.

“According to our reports you gave praise to a Galla when you were interviewing Raspberry?” said the old woman.

The Farsh-nuke nodded. “Galla Placidia, the creator of the Venus Trap and by far the most powerful of the elder gods since she never had to give up her power. I always wondered why she never joined in the war or at least the final battle.”

“Perhaps she saw that the multiverse would still need protecting when you were gone?” suggested the old woman.

The Farsh-nuke nodded then he looked her in the eyes and asked. “Can I trust you?”

The old woman leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table. “I assure you that everything you say here is entirely confidential.”

The Farsh-nuke leaned forward and rested his hands on the table. “I’m worried about Raspberry and about the threat posed by his supporters, the alt-right. I’m an alien, sod dna, my physics is unnatural to this universe. Those racists would destroy me and everyone I care about.”

“That’s democracy.” said the old woman with a shrug.

The Farsh-nuke shook his head. “I destroyed the Septagonoids, I reformed the Logicios and I oversaw the disbanding of the United Civilisations of the Multiverse. I am not about to stand idly by while monsters like Raspberry persecute my people.”

“Then why don’t you pick a universe where Raspberry lost?” suggested the old woman.

“Because this is my home, damn it!”cried the Farsh-nuke.

“This doesn’t concern you.” said the old woman. “Walk away, settle down somewhere and live a good life. let humanity sort this out.”

The Farsh-nuke glared at her.

The old woman glared at him.

The Farsh-nuke heard a voice in his head. “Farsh-nuke, trust me. We are both pieces on a board and we must play our parts. Good luck with your plan. I shall alter mine to help you but please let this scene play out as I will it.”

The Farsh-nuke groaned. “Fine. I suppose I’ll go to Vegas. Just stop him before he launches nukes yeah because if the fucker launches nukes I am doing whatever it takes to bring him down.”

“Well don’t worry I am sure Raspberry understands the concept of Mutually Assured Destruction.” said the old woman then she cried. “Take him away, boys.”

Two large men entered the room and lifted the Farsh-nuke up between them.

*

The Farsh-nuke hit the dirt outside the facility as a Jeep pulled up and couple of beautiful young women in bikinis got out to help the Farsh-nuke to his feet and into the car.

The Farsh-nuke sat in the passenger seat and looked at the driver. A middle aged brunette with a distinct look of annoyance. “I told you the disguise wouldn’t help.”

The Farsh-nuke shrugged. “I needed to get close and I didn’t know if he was logic sensitive. how’s the recruitment drive going.”

The driver shrugged.

*

A tall beautiful blonde woman in a business suit was giving a press conference. An asian reporter asked “Miss Danse, is it true that you intend to run for President of the United States?”

The blonde woman nodded. “I am proud to be representing Women For Justice in this capacity. We will reform the corrupt and patriarchal system of government into a glorious place of equality and justice for all including the working class.”

A brunette enters the room.

“And here comes my chief advisor now.” said Miss Danse.

The brunette smiled and waved at the the reporters as she passed by and up to the stage.

The two women embraced in a bear hug.

“Catherine!” cried Miss Danse, then she whispered. “Where’s our mutual friend?”

“Lucy!” cried the brunette before replying in a whisper. “Getting dressed.”

Lucy Danse turned back to the press and patted the brunette, Catherine, on the bum as she did so.

Catherine hurriedly turned her gaze to the press and smiled confidently. “I can assure that recruitment to our party is at an all time high.”

A tired looking man with a stubbly beard asked. “Don’t you think there is a possibility that your all women platform will alienate male voters.”

Suddenly the stubbly bearded man was knocked to his feet as a tall guy in a suit two sizes too big stumbled into him apologizing profusely.

Lucy chuckled. “Well rest assured my assistant Jon Smith will be ensuring that I am well acquainted with how to get the male vote.”

“Plasma guns for everyone!” cried the clumsy assistant. “And fem bots! Gotta have fembots! We can make fembots, right?”

Charlotte nodded, smirking.

“Yeah, of course we can. ‘Murica!” cried the clumsy assistant as he approached the stage. “Legalise LSD! And! And! And this is the best bit! A national beer allowance! I know it sounds socialist but free beer everyday for every citizen!” He clambered on the stage, knocking the mic stand over in the process. “I mean tell me beer, guns and robo chicks isn’t American!? We’re sure to win.”

Lucy patted the assistant, on the back, smiling widely. “We are also an equal opportunity employer and shall endeavour that every mentally ill or otherwise affected person in our fine country gets the help and job to suit them.”

The press chuckled.

Catherine muttered “Lisa, why don’t fetch Jon a drink?”

A short blonde woman peeled off from standing beside Lucy and returned a moment later to present the assistant with a glass of water.

As the assistant took the glass, his hand brushed against the short woman’s.

She smiled.

The assistant returned the smile. His bright green eyes mesmerizing her for a second.

Then the short woman returned to her place beside Lucy.

A young American reporter of Senegalese descent asks. “Don’t you worry that what success you do have may hand the election to Raspberry.”

Lucy frowned. “What’s your name if I may ask?”

“Iris Mayweather.” said the reporter.

“Well, Iris, I am very concerned about the possibility of Raspberry winning the election and that is precisely why I am running.” said Lucy. “May is an establishment shill that most people hate. Her only likeable quality is that she isn’t Raspberry and doesn’t have his supporters but she doesn’t have any other supporters either. This is why I am standing for election. America needs a third way. Now, are any other questions?”
 
*

When the press conference was over and all the press had left, the assistant went over to a filing cabinet, pulled a key from his pocket and unlocked it.

“Just where did you hide that?” asked Charlotte.

“You don’t want to know.” said the assistant, pulling back a hidden panel on the side of the cabinet to expose a vast room impossibly beyond it. He gestured to Charlotte. “Ladies first.”

Charlotte cackled.

Lucy entered with a smirk.

The short blonde woman approached the assistant, a sly smile about her lips. “Master?”

The assistant grinned like a shark. “Lets get those clothes off you.”

The short blonde woman entered as the assistant followed behind her, undressing her.

The two beautiful young women in bikinis who had fetched the Farsh-nuke earlier arrived again. One was blonde and the other ginger.

Charlotte grinned when she saw them, pulling them into a hug she she could kiss each of them on the forehead. “Amy, Emma, take the cabinet to the Jeep then drive it to our flat. Come join us once the cabinet is inside.”

“Yes, Mistress.” chimes the young women as one.

Charlotte entered the cabinet.

The assistant had shrugged off his oversized suit to reveal a tight fitting one beneath.

The short blonde woman lay naked before him, giggling as his hands explored her body.

Charlotte raised an eyebrow and looked to where Lucy stood before a vast array of screens displaying video feeds of various new channels. “I thought you were a couple?”

“We have an open relationship.” said Lucy, without looking away. “Besides, he’s the Farsh-nuke. If he hasn’t pleasured at least three women a day he gets awful; irritable.”

“And in my defence this one was literally gifted to me.” said the assistant. “I kind of have a duty to see that she’s satisfied with her life. You can have a go if you like?”

The short blonde woman giggled, looking at Charlotte, “Oh yes! Please!?”

Charlotte groaned, approaching the naked woman. “Alright but I am having you and Lucy later. No ifs, no buts and no headaches.”

The Farsh-nuke smirked and stood aside to let Charlotte work. “You know for a Bam-Kursh, you really don’t seem to like toys?”

“I make toys, I don’t play with them.” said Charlotte irritably then she looked down at the naked woman before her and started work. “Now, Lisa, lets see how you feel with a professional.”

The naked woman cried out in elation.

The Farsh-nuke washed his hands in a sink then approached Lucy. “How bad is it?”

“The press love Raspberry.” said Lucy with a sigh.

The Farsh-nuke watched Richard Raspberry on the screen and grimaced. “We’ll get him. I’m not sure how yet but we’ll get him.”

“What is this place?” asked a strange voice.

The Farsh-nuke and Lucy looked to where a black woman was standing, just inside the door.

Catherine looked to Lucy and the Farsh-nuke.

“We aren’t going to hurt you.” said Lucy.

Catherine sighed and turned her attention back to the naked woman.

Lucy asked. “How did you get in here?”

“I stayed behind after the press conference.” said the black woman. “And then I saw you all get in the filing cabinet and I took care of the women had moving it.”

Catherine bit her lip and looked to Lucy.

“Did you hurt them?” asked Lucy hurriedly.

The black woman noted just how badly she was outnumbered and shrugged. “Handcuffs are easy to find if you know where to look and those women weren’t very bright.”

The Farsh-nuke looked pointedly at Charlotte.

Charlotte sighed and looked back to the naked woman before her.

The Farsh-nuke coughed then addressed the black woman. “Okay, this is what’s going to happen. You are going to give Lucy the keys and Lucy is going to go free our friends and while that is happening you and me are going to have a little chat.”

The black woman laughed and started to back out of the room. “I am not staying in this place, I’ve read about stories like this, I have no intention of getting probed anywhere.”

Charlotte looked to Lucy meaningfully.

Lucy stepped forward. “Iris, isn’t it? Iris Mayweather?”

Charlotte froze then nodded when words wouldn’t come.

Lucy reached forward and grabbed the back woman by the arm to stop her from leaving as she walked up to her. “Iris, I’m going to level with you, you have stumbled upon something here, something big and we can’t just let you leave. It’s far too big a risk. You do however get a choice. You can speak to my assistant here and have some autonomy like me or you can resist and end up like the girls you tied up courtesy of the woman who made them that way.”

Iris looked to Charlotte.

Charlotte looked to her, a cruel smile on her face.

Lucy looked Iris in the eyes. “So what do you say?”

Iris pulled a set of keys from her jacket pocket and handed them to Lucy.

“Thank you.” said Lucy with a bright smile on her face before she left the room.

Iris looked to Charlotte nervously.

Charlotte glared at her.

“Iris!” called the Farsh-nuke.

Iris walked over to him then noticed the screens. “Why are you monitoring the news?”

“Because we want to stop that man.” said the Farsh-nuke. “Will you help us?”

“Do I have a choice?” asked Iris.

The Farsh-nuke frowned. “Iris, there are a thousand different ways I can ensure you don’t cause a problem for us. I am asking for your help and that requires trust so yes, you absolutely have a choice.”

Richard Raspberry said on the news. “We are the national party of the socialists and we will see that all the poor black communities within our country are taken care of.”

Iris stared at that fact grin and said bitterly “Lets get the bastard.”

The End







Racists Better Unsubscribe

Wednesday, 17 August 2016

Millennial Woes and Racism

On Brand Representation And Right Wing Podcasts

On Brand Representation And Right Wing Podcasts

By
Alexander Gordon Jahans

Today An Alt-Right podcast called The Daily Shoah extended an offer that I might appear on their podcast. Did you know that Shoah is the Jewish word for holocaust? I didn't. Their name is a parody pun of an American Leftwing news comedy show that means Daily Jewish Holocaust. And they extended the invitation while mockingly referring to me as basically a severely disabled person and generally insulting me but this was after they covered riots by Black Lives Matter as "chimp outs" and generally were racist as almighty fuck. If you don't think calling black people chimps is racist then you need to fuck off right now.

Oh, and I also learned that I apparently have a cult I did not know about. The Esoteric Jahanists. Not everyday that happens.

I recorded a 3 hour video yesterday so my voice is a little hoarse and not quite up to the challenges faced today. Though I did make a rebuttal video that is currently causing shoah fans to cream their pants. Apparently 4chan has a new thread over which to masturbate about me.

I am not threatened by the dickheads in charge of the Daily Shoah. I know how media and new media works and I really couldn't care less if they're genuine or not, if it looks like a duck, it quacks like a duck and it walks like a duck then actual real ducks are going to assume they have a friend. Satire only works when people don't sincerely believe you when you say what you think is an exaggeration for comedic effect. The Daily Shoah, if it is all a massive joke, would be like Jonathon Swift coming out with A Modest Proposal when the majority of the world is seriously examining the idea of eating babies. It is not cutting edge satire, it is a bland dull repetition of the status quo that tries to shock but merely ads weight to the things supposedly being criticised and mocked.

Zarquon, comparing the Daily Shoah to Jonathon Swift is like comparing Pepe to the Mona Lisa. Completely fucking ridiculous. But that's the point. even the greats in this context would look hackneyed and cheap.

Anyway since I have a cult let me hand out some words of wisdom. I mean I am not going to stop making my videos and doing what I do so it's worth a fucking try to see whether the followers of a cult made in my name will actually listen to what I have to say.

  1. The Needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.
  2. Suffering is subjective and to be avoided .
  3. A Sub-optimal functional system or existence is preferable in many cases to a non-functional system or existence.
  4. Since humour is subjective breaking any of the above 3 for a joke makes you a dick.
  5. A system does not need every cog within it to be able to justify the machine's existence and that is to be respected. The collective will and knowledge of the people may have a majority of the answers but that doesn't mean everybody will be able to debate and understand everything understood by the whole, nor does it disqualify the knowledge held by the whole if the individual can't answer a question.
  6. Correlation does not imply causation.
  7. Sapient individuals are each individuals with their own capacity for intelligence, stupidity, sadism and altruism. Do not let a dislike for the unlike cause you to forget that.
  8. Sampling errors happen. Check your data with a large sample size, a variety of conditions and scientists with different temperaments and dispositions. The truth will win over the majority of scientists no matter their political allegiance if the evidence is there,
  9. Shock jokes and pranks are just dickish.
  10. If you're a dick to people they're more likely to be a dick back, altruism is therefore the smarter course of action provided you've checked your moral calculations correctly. Demean the idea all you like with terms like virtue signalling but there is safety in numbers and nobody wants to hang around a provocative arsehole.
  11. Interrogate and learn from new facts. New data lets you keep pace with the right way to remain in a position of power and safety. Don't just ignore data that does not fit with your ideology check what other perspectives have to say on the matter. If it's really true even people who don't follow the news will hear about it. 
  12. You don't have to break just because a critic thinks you should be wounded by something. The placebo effect proves that mind over matter works to an extent. You don't have to be hurt just because someone is trying to be hurtful. 
  13. You don't have to be personally affected by something to ask someone to stop being a dick.
  14. Those who have been deemed not worthy get one chance to change, one explanation of why their perspective is wrong and hurtful. It may never work but it is better than not trying at all.
  15. Everybody is allowed to have fun and feel good about themselves occasionally provided it does not run counter to any of the above.
Sorry for preaching. I am in fact right now, a complete fucking mess but if there is one thing I know it's altruism and morality and it seems esoteric jahanists sorely need a lesson in it. And yes my morality is an adaptation of utilitarian morality to add greater consequences to negative and positive actions in accordance with more classical or judeochristian morality.

So yeah the man most well know for asperger's syndrome, tits and tiny balls just passed off the fifteen commandments to his new cult. And I'm a fucking anti-theist. My life is weird.











Sunday, 14 August 2016

A Realistic Utopia

A Realistic Utopia

By
Alexander Gordon Jahans

A commenter on my youtube channel asked for my thoughts on utopia and dystopia. Dystopia abounds and I write that a lot but thinking about utopia is a lot hard and consequently more interesting if you think about how to make it work realistically so here I shall show my working. The rules are:

  1. The utopia must be formed in the near future with a clear trend from current events. America is not going to get a national health service overnight.
  2. The utopia cannot be reliant on technology that we do not already see working examples of today. As much I may wish the Farsh-nuke to turn up with a memory gun, an albino sylph squirrel and a seghat, that ain't gonna happen.
  3. People are still people. Greed and xenophobia is not going to disappear because humanity has better tech.
  4. When the utopia is being judged, how nice the society would be to live in is not to be criticised as utopias are by their nature subjective.
  5. Utopia breakdowns are to be properly credited.


With that said lets begin.

The Catalyst For Creating The Utopia

Things get worse, much worse. Right wing governments let the corporations have free reign to destroy the planet, mistreat their workers and further corrupt governments. leftwing governments are hamstrung by greatly empowered multinational corporations and media empires. Automation starts slowly whittling down job sectors. Riots start breaking out and there are almost year long protests. The global economy slumps as a small minority of people make money. A man is arrested for attempting to blow up parliament, officially he's a terrorist following in the wake of Isis, social media dubs him Guy Fawkes. The security services send out armed patrols in response. Something has got to give.

Founding The Utopia

Companies involved in big data, social media and technology development (which will not be named for legal reasons and because they might not exist in the 50-100 years it could take for this to happen) meet in secret to discuss the current geopolitical situation. These are companies that rely on a large populace with disposable income for their companies to thrive, these are also companies founded and run by smart people, no matter how personally abhorrent, so they understand the threat posed by climate change and civil unrest. The world is a powder keg and right now the governments are playing with fire.

The companies between them control the very ways the world communicates. Oh sure, Radio, Films, Magazines and Books limp on, but the majority of the world gets their news from new media and they all willingly sign whatever terms and conditions are presented to them for use of the product. It is a well known fact by now that these companies spy on and experiment upon their users and very few people actually care enough to stop using them.

The companies agree to sign a contract which will ensure the world, their users and their businesses will thrive. It is ethically troubling and perhaps undemocratic but democracy was revealed as a sham by which the rich could control the government years ago. The agreement comes to be known as the Pax Singularis.

Establishing The Utopia   

The companies work slowly at first. They understand that the only way the Pax Singularis will work is if it has weight behind it. If a small number of leaders can meet in secret to found it then about as many can disband it. So they implement it at their backends first. Want to advertise with their companies? Well you'll have to agree to the Pax Singularis.

It was implemented slowly at first, partly so that when companies broke the contracts they could be taken to court and legal precedents set and partly so companies could start saving money into two different Pax Singularis accounts. The first was a war chest used to enforce the Pax Singularis in the courts. The second was a high interest rate tax avoiding account, well string of accounts to maximize how much money was generated by the collective contributions of the companies. The money was given on a monthly basis as a percentage of company profits after tax.

Once 5 different companies had lost to the Pax Singularis in a country then companies would begin offering their users a choice. They could keep agreeing to the old terms and conditions or they could opt into one that included the Pax Singularis. Those who opted in would transparently be agreeing to give every company involved in the Pax Singularis all their data. There was promise of optional bonuses to come but in general the expected reward would be reimplementation of old much loved GUI features or an otherwise easily added and much requested feature. It would be a transparent cheap ploy to get more data that was expected to get a minority of users to agree.

Until all major countries had shown five examples of the Pax Singularis successfully being enforced data would be collected from those users who volunteered their data and analysed. They needed to know how to sell this to people, they needed to ensure they could roll out measures to prevent their users abandoning the Pax Singularis. The Pax would be enforced on its corporate members and if necessary on governments but the users had to want to agree to it or the Pax had little point. Besides, the more data the Pax had the more companies could be convinced to sign up to the Pax and the more money would be generated for the Pax.

Once 3 different countries had shown that the Pax Singularis had legal precedent, the Pax Singularis started using its war chest to bring farms, mines and factories into the Pax.

At five, the Pax Singularis started trialling a program where select users could receive food if they underwent regular brain scans and blood tests, other users were offered money on top of the free food if they agreed to undergo training to work in areas such as farming, genetic engineering, coding or factories.

Now governments and more importantly right wing media empires started asking questions of the Pax Singularis. It would be slandered as slave labour. Except the program is entirely opt-in and it freed up the users to spend more money on things, therefore boosting the profits of the companies in the Pax Singularis and the reputation of the Pax Singularis. Grass roots movements start supporting the Pax. The Pax then spreads to infiltrate the governments and the newspapers, buying off politicians and journalists with funds from the war chest. Would Sir like to get exclusive content about the Pax or perhaps Sir would like a cushy position on the board representing the interests of the Pax Singularis?

The program spreads across the countries and people increasingly sign up to be users of the Pax in case they can get on one of the programs. Meanwhile those that have finished training are offered entirely part time positions where they work in factories, farms or AI development labs for the Pax. In return they will make a little more money than they made being on the training programs and have time enough to find a proper job. AI development increases with the extra data and trained researchers, plus the boost to the economy created by minimum wage workers who don't have to spend what little money they have on food.

As the strength of the Pax Singularis increases plots of land start being bought up in undesirable countries and building begins. The Pax uses the media and social media to start lobbying for science to be better funded. The Pax Singularis creates an off shoot academic research institute in each country to compete for that funding. In each case the institutes offer themselves up as actual expensive universities but offer cheap rates to users of the Pax Singularis and are more likely to hire people who received training through the Pax. These academies are used to research Artificial Intelligence and Genetic Engineering. These Academies make use of the data collected by the Pax.

Construction finishes on what is revealed to be a massive housing project in each of the various countries the Pax operates in. Each project has solar panels, wind turbines and geothermal power plus a whole host of other features to be energy neutral in operation on average. The projects are equipped with communal parks, hospitals, shopping malls and recycling centres. Each flat is its own separate accommodation with all modern conveniences, pets are allowed and two people can stay in the same accommodation indefinitely if they wish though it may be cramped. Smoking in the flats is allowed thanks to filtration systems in the flats and a design that prevents fires spreading between flats and puts them out fast, though there is a fire crew on every floor just in case. And a flat is yours to have indefinitely, with it legally becoming your property after fifty years, if you agree that your dna may be sampled, mapped and copyrighted, and that your body will become property of the Pax upon your death. This does not prevent organ donation, just that anything left can be studies and used by the Pax as they see fit.

With the Pax Singularis displaying a more overtly philanthropic footing the the left and the right seize upon it as a political football, each championing it as way to to beat the other side since the Pax Singularis is at once a kind of welfare system to look after the poor with socialised costs and an example of private companies removing the need for state welfare. Successive governments start paying tax payer money into the Pax Singularis. Money that of course the Pax Singularis mostly avoids paying back in tax.

With the Pax increasingly supported within the governments it starts buying up bus, coach and plane companies so it can offer free or cut price rates to Pax Singularis users to ensure users can easily get from the housing projects to the academies, factories, farms and other Pax assets.

With support from the majority of countries the Pax Singularis operates in a time release part of the contract comes into play ensuring that carbon emissions will be drastically reduced where possible, that fossil fuels will no longer be used where possible and where not possible research into achieving these targets will receive the most funding.

At this point the rightwing and the corrupt are very angry and they want to fight against the Pax but the Pax is too big and too hard to fight. The Pax Singularis is not a single company, it is thousands, possibly millions of individual companies in every important country on the planet, some of which are now dependent upon the Pax Singularis and billions of users across the world whose very lives depend on the company. Oh and they have an established track record of defeating challenges in the courts. I mean you could always declare war on them but then you'd have half the world against you at least, not to mention your own angry citizens. Plus they aren't forcing you to use their services but good luck competing.

Utopia Itself

In this utopia the world we are familiar with continues to exist. There are still jobs, houses and private property. Brands still vie for control of the markets and democracy still decides whether the welfare state will shrink or grow. Culture doesn't change radically. but there are differences.

Climate change is being fought effectively, AI development is leading to increasing automation and redundancies but the people are happy because they know they can go for a brain scan to get a week's worth of food to suit whatever their dietary needs are. Those who want to make more money, to work their way up to a job or just want a challenge can sign up for a position that will best suit their needs. Everybody has somewhere to live comfortably and the media is booming.

Breakthroughs from studying the brains, dna and bodies of Pax users have led to more effective treatments for illnesses and screening programs.

IVF treatments are cheap enough now to be relatively common even for couples who could conceive and give birth naturally. Thus the issue of designer babies is in the wider cultural understanding with mild screening being allowed to filter out cells that have dna likely to produce severe growth defects. The populations of countries are less burdened and more physically fit as a result with some even opting to select cells with only genetic traits that seem favourable. The long effects are of course being studied via the Pax.

New smart drugs intended to help users achieve a variety of moods and mindsets are being trialled and thanks to some success the rate of development in technology is increasing.

Brain computer interfaces are much improved thanks to the new data and this itself is leading to breakthrough prosthetics for the disabled and further AI advancements.

Basic AI butler programs which utilise the vast data of the Pax are allowing users to be more productive so they can take more time off for leisure without affecting global productivity, thus populations tend to be happier, less stressed, more effective when they are productive and less violently angry at the state of the world meaning governments don't have to take such overt preventative measures which might otherwise escalate tensions.

Cultured meat is being mass produced at high cost as part of a program to reduce carbon emissions and the lessons being learned are allowing the process to get vastly more affordable quickly. Plus it actually results in a minor saving for the Pax since they need to provide food for their users anyway.

As part of an attempt to prevent rape and curb feelings of isolation and lonelyness in the population companies in the Pax are using plastics made from oil crops with advancements in AI and scans of users in the program to create life size, anatomically accurate, purchasable companions. The companions can't really walk and they certainly aren't sapient or sentient but they are programmed to give a good enough suggestion of it so as to provide the comfort.

This is being worked on in tandem with development for companions that are purchasable for Virtual Reality and Augmented Reality where AI can be more easily programmed at the experiences can then be synchronised with the physical companions. This way, while a physical companion may only have a limited number of conversations and sentences hard coded in, new conversations can be downloaded along with a sense of continuity between the digital world and the real world. The effect won't be flawless or anything approaching it but thanks to a person's ability to develop feelings for inanimate objects that won't be necessary. Besides it's purely optional and something to make being rich in the relative post-scarcity of the Pax, worth something.

As governments try to compete with the Pax Singularis they plough money into other research programs the successes and failures of which only advance technological progress.

Serious Crime in the Pax has a near one hundred percent catch rate when it does happen as the Pax runs on the agreement to share basically everything with every company in the Pax across all the countries so if you live in Pax accommodation, use Pax transport or work in Pax premises everything you do or say will be recorded and analysed.

Pax Singularis works as a safety net for many governments and citizens allowing governments and citizens to focus more on the things that really bother them. The media thus undergoes a renaissance and national space agencies make great headway in their own positions since the Pax is letting people get educated cheaper, freeing up tax payer money as more people are able to pay tax while services are cut back, plus if Pax looks set on establishing a new world order on earth, suddenly establishing a colony on another planet looks like quite the political power move.

The Simulated Brain Project is receiving a massive boost thanks to the data from the Pax Singularis. A brain scan every week, a near complete record of everything said or done by the person, their genetic record, a complete breakdown of where they lived, worked and who their friends were then finally their brains. That's a research gold mine and there are a lot of them. No sign of simulated brains becoming a reality yet but with this it looks a lot more likely.

Finally the Pax Singularis can actually operate a match making algorithm to hook its users up with one another and keep producing future users. This will naturally happen without the aid of the Pax of course and every time it does the Pax gains more data.

Oh and with all the new data and the fact that Pax buildings are by their nature ridiculously safe sexual reassignment surgeries are increasingly commonplace with the stigma all but dead and a burgeoning demand for cosmetic surgery as people no longer have to worry about rent or food. As cosmetic surgery increases so it gets cheaper and easier to do, with a greater ability to automate, allowing less conventional cosmetic surgeries to be purchased more frequently. Cat girls become the latest demographic to demand equality. Once you transition beyond scarcity and necessity, vanity becomes a right, or at least that is what is now debated.

With humanity now self sustaining in a manner that is not destroying the planet, and even making greater headway into settling down on other planets, work begins on undoing the damage. Breeding programs and genetic engineering are used to bring back dead or dying species that were once so vital to the ecosystem. Great swathes of the world are given back to nature, albeit with the occasional factory, farm or server warehouse hidden underneath. Rumors abound that the megalodon shark has been brought back and swimmers are advised to stick to pools unless they are prepared to accept nature's wrath.

There are occasional concerted attempts to turn the public against the Pax Singularis yet they all fail as an apparent mass outpouring of support counters it before other news catches the public's attention. Of course if you were to ask any individual company whether they had any part to play in covering up bad news up they would reply "Absolutely not. Our algorithms are completely unbiased, they only reflect the will of the users." Which is absolutely true. After all, known conspiracy theorists regularly talk about the dangers of the Pax Singularis. Yet oddly the only posts or articles that seem to go viral either are clearly from well known conspiracy theorists or are mocking the idea that the Pax Singularis is anything other than a benevolent, non-threatening collection of corporate entities. Anyone who notices this fact and is not a conspiracy theorist, typically finds themselves either meeting the love of their life quite by chance, getting their dream job or stumbling upon their idols. Odd how that happens.

What do you think?

Judgement on whether this is a utopia is not allowed to affect whether it passes the rules but I'd be interested none the less. For me this would be utopia.

Getting Back To Normality

You Wanted More Vlog Stuff

Saturday, 13 August 2016

I Really Have No Fucking Clue

I Really Have No Fucking Clue
By
Alexander Gordon Jahans

I make money pretending I have the answers. I'm a reviewer and political pundit, I know what that film sucks and why that political party is full of shit. Every unflattering truth I tell, every flaw I show, it all adds to that impression. I am an honest bugger and I know what the fuck I'm talking about. Except I don't... Not really. All of that is predicated upon the idea that the way I think is static and unchanging. That I am some anchor of honest sensibility. Something which is blatantly no longer the case.

Is Trump an unelectable madman or a canny entertainer playing to the crowd available to purchase by the highest bidder? Is Brexit good or bad? Is feminism still a good idea in the west? The answer is not as stable as it should be.

Scientists and rationalists have this idea that there is no such thing as free will, that our actions can be calculated and plotted on a probabilistic curve. That used to be the case for me. I was regular, stable, governed by rules and rationality. I lived a life of regulation and direction. I strove for independence because the rules were so simple it was just quicker to not have anybody interfering. I actually thought I knew what I was doing, that I was right, correct. I was haunted by the idea of being wrong, of failing. Now my life is such a constant failure it's more notable when I am actually correct about something.

The great Arnold Judas Rimmer once said "You are your job." Well in that case I'm nothing. I'm not even a writer anymore. My confidence is shot and I've seen how crap I really am. Yet my writing has become like my youtube, it's success comes when I forget about the audience and focus on me. But who the fuck am I and what the fuck do I actually fucking want?

The Alt-Right, the sincere cunts, genuinely believe that I am held back by altruism and empathy, that I give too much of a fuck about the suffering of others. That's a symptom, not the disease. You see people are easy and morality is easy. I have trained myself to always give the right answer to those questions even in anger, pain or desperation. I am, I was, a regulated capitalist, the ego and the greed have always defined me but I can't answer with those as right now they're kind of missing. I can't think about the self right now because the self in an undefined void at the moment. I can react and I can follow orders and instructions but I can't do anything for me at the moment. All the things I do right now to satisfy myself are carryovers from when I had a self to pick out things to get interested in.

I am in flux, I'm still cooking. I don't know who I am or what I want. Testosterone is one hell of a hormone. Decades of thought about women undone in months as by my own prior judgements I find myself regressed to the state of a neanderthal. If I mentally squint I can remember how I used to think and abstractly rationalise that women are just different people with slightly different aesthetic qualities and biochemistry, then the chemicals take over again and I find myself wondering just how the heck I get myself a woman to explore in intimate detail... At which point my morality slaps me across the face and reminds me about feminism and egalitarianism.

It's more than the sex issue though. My entire life I have had a goal. Finish school, build a dalek, get into university, graduate university, get a job... Clearly I didn't achieve every goal but I knew what the fuck I was doing. I don't now. I haven't got a fucking clue. Even youtube. I mean it's going well but I don't have a fucking clue how. I can only assume that my notoriety is wide enough that I am managing to attract precisely the sort of people who like whatever my niche is but that isn't something I can perfect.

I don't know what I want, I don't know what I want to do with my life, I don't know who I am and how the fuck I am supposed to survive. I only know that once I do know the answers to these questions I'll probably be okay.

See the hatebase has a point about my needing to improve myself and about how my standards are the problem when it comes to finding a job. I mean they are boring patronising twats that I would hate to meet in person but they have point. I'm a smart man and I have good grades in courses with enough flexibility that I could get any number of jobs if I really wanted them and targeted them. Except that's the problem. I'm still reeling from the damage caused by my "Just get a job, any job." mentality. I mean a lot did happen the last year, I sort of had to juggle the healing. I don't know what I want to spend the rest of my life doing and until I do I can't get a job because I just can't fake it.

I don't know who or what I am or what the fuck I'm going to do with my life but I have faith that I will find out in time. As to what the hell this business will mean when I do, I honestly haven't a clue. I'm not who I used to be. Alexander Gordon Jahans, the depression riddled survivor is undergoing one long regeneration and I don't know who the fuck I will be when it's over. Except that's not quite true. You see I don't like being told what to do, never have, and my hatebase has been telling me to be a nazi, to vote trump, to trash feminism and feel sorry for the whites, plus some other shit. Thanks to them, and my own morality, I know that I will remain a leftwing supporter of feminism, a champion of the LGTBTQA+ movement and in opposition to the entitled Alt-Right bigots.

Anyway I am going to be watching the Fast and the Furious films and Game of Thrones as I continue writing Weresylph Dawning and playing Skyrim. Whatever happens, whoever I become, I have been Alexander Gordon Jahans and you have been most welcome.