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Monday, 10 July 2017

Ignorance Is Bliss nsfw

Ignorance Is Bliss

Bloggage

Not Safe For Work

Content Warnings Everywhere

By
Alexander Gordon Jahans


So my mind is a problem solving device and one that works without conscience, morality or direction. Those are decisions to be applied once the solution is presented. This is the part where I hold up my hands stand up before the firing squad and say. “It’s okay, I forgive you, I’m a monster.”

Because a very central part of sylph lore was very clearly misunderstood as something it very clearly wasn’t and that planted a dangerous seed in my mind.

I say now with clarity and forethought. Trans people deserve, love and respect. Their gender identity must be respected and they must be given all the medical, psychological and cultural aid as they deem necessary. My opinion does not matter.

I was accused of coming up with the cure for trans gender identities so I came up with the cure for trans gender identities. Well, a technology that could be so applied by someone so evil. Spoilers. There is someone so evil in the latest novel I am working on.

The point is that I have had this technology rattling around as a concept for some time. It’s called mind bounding. In the same way that a body can be bound to remain in a shape the idea is to conceptually bind a mind into a particular position. I mean to be fair to me the story is actually far more complex than that and no trans people are actually harmed (within the fiction of the story anyway) but the technology is still used in part.

It’s like the whole Logicular Replication thing. The idea that it might be possible to save scum a moment of consent by printing off innumerable duplicates of a person just after they have consented because it’s arguable that philosophically the clones are the same person. Except you save scum within the moment, face to face as part of an ongoing process. Convince someone to accept a little lie for a moment or be more open about something they disagree with then bind their mind in position and take another step. It’s utterly and ridiculously evil and manipulative. More than just a mind rape, it’s full on on going mind abuse.

Except that’s fine. Monsters can be monstrous. Especially when you already have a reputation as a transphobic misogynist. However this is isn’t another piece angsting about how hard it is to be problematic. I wanted you to understand the horrific thought process and that I know how this hypothetical technology could be misused.

Then I wrote this distraction fic about a pretty submissive girl who eventually gets shrunk and kept as a pet. It occurred to me then that mind bounding might work then. Not to make someone think differently but just to keep an innocent from growing. Obviously there are massive ways this could be exploited and men who think it would be hot to mind bound their girlfriends or other female associates in this manner are clearly massive creeps. (Though keeping them shrunken and in a cage probably crosses that threshold already.) Yet to the woman or other individual there might not seem to be anything wrong with that. I mean they’d still gain new memories they just wouldn’t even be aware of any cognitive dissonance from growing up. Like how I have always not eaten lamb and fish for moral reasons and it wasn’t until I tried and failed to become a vegetarian that I accepted my hypocrisy was even a thing.

So then you take it further. Ironically inspired by a podcast pointing out the creepy misogynistic moments of Kurt Vonnegurt specifically the idea that it might be nice that a woman is mute. Not an entirely insane idea once you’ve taken the huge leap of shrinking a consenting adult. To be clear I am fully aware that microphilia as a fetish is totally misogynistic. It’s literally a fetish about callous, intimidating or seemingly powerful women literally becoming play or pet objects at best given the rights and respect of a hamster or a dog. But hey, it’s fun to pretend. So once you’ve crossed so far and taken the intimidating woman as your pet hamster, it makes sense (from an evil misogynistic perspective) that you’d want to reduce their intelligence until they literally just squeaked like hamsters.

I would like to reassure people that shrinking is literally impossible, mind bounding in the manner I describe is literally impossible and regardless of my fantasies/fictional ideas, in real life I have morals and always aim to avoid being a dick so far as possible. (unless it’s conservatives or nazis)

So anyway I have been playing around with this idea for a time, contemplating its usefulness hypothetically in committing acts of evil. (I half wonder how many people are now convinced I actually own a functioning shrink ray and mind bounding technology?) At the same time I’ve been listening to podcasts bringing closure/reminding me of the year before I went to college and during my second year at university.

I have been reminded of who I used to be. I really gave a shit you know. I wore suits and I enjoyed thinking about solving problems and multitasking. Now I just masturbate to submissive women and write stories about submissive women then listen to left wing podcasts and desperately try to convince myself I’m a feminist. So I pulled my shit together, I got woke bruh, and I saw the light.

The problem was the light of knowledge had me staring down the barrel of just how fucking shitty my life is and just how objectively I should be dead and I want to be dead but I am all about morality so I’m not because I think just barely people, at least a few people, might feel temporarily worse if I died. So... yeah... I basically woke up, saw the light, then realized/remembered, why I keep the curtains closed and went right the fuck back to sleep.

I can’t die. I will not allow myself to die because I am somewhast convinced of the idea that it would be immoral to do so. So right now I would early love to be mind bound. I mean that’s basically what all this stuff is about and why I can’t stop masturbating and writing fetish fic. I can’t ever allow myself to try be sane and smart. I must always be insane, stupid and in a giddy sexual daze of uselessness.

No wonder I keep writing story after story of submissive getting preyed upon. At this point this is my happy ending. A fucked up part of me sincerely wants to be martyred by my stalkers because at least then I wouldn’t have to bare the guilt of the grief my death would cause. Although knowing my luck it would be deemed that victim blaming is okay in my case because I’m a cis white male and blatantly misogynistic.

So yeah just as I would take the sylph cure to reset my body to human male basic, so I would accept mind bounding to be alive and happy. Ignorance is bliss. Now the fucking nazis have removed my ability to scream as well through their predatory attentiveness.

I can’t allow myself to die, I certainly can’t allow myself to ever admit to such considerations but I can desire for ignorance at least just this once. Let me be thick like the neurotypical. Let me go about the world as an optimistic fool in a perpetually sexually escapist daze.

I think now that if Trump just blurted out that the world has been part of the United Civilisations for ages that I would first write a strongly worded essay against the ownership of sylphs then go sign up to become one, because fuck it, give me stability, give my ignorance, give me freedom from the responsibility of thought and actions. Heck if they only take women, I’ll take the sylph cure and fucking lump it. I’m done with all the bullshit of the world.

Now if you’ll excuse me I have a podcast on Kurt Vonnegurt to finish listening to and then I’m going for a walk into town. Also I’m quite seriously tempted by the works of Gor, because fuck it if I must survive through ignorance and sexual escapism and I am already a misogynistic transphobe doomed to be first against the wall; when the revolution comes why not let myself entertain the notion of a world where women are just naturally subservient, instead of convinced be so through cultural indoctrination. Even if I actually think it’s cooler and more interesting how we’ve managing to convince so many people that women are submissive when they literally control the survival of the species. It’s like the battle of Orgreave all over again, I will never not believe it was a hideously deliberate act because it’s just so much cooler and more interesting in a very evil way to consider my nominal side forcing this massive defeat upon another demographic.

Yep. I’m evil. If hell exists I totally deserve to go there and I think I’d probably accept that as a fine fate compared to this purgatory because if you’ve getting tortured horrifically every day and you know there is no escape you also know you can’t fall any further and can just let go.

I should not write drunk.