New Beginnings

New Beginnings

A Bloggage

By

Alexander Gordon Jahans

How do we define the end of one chapter of a person’s life and the beginning of another? When they start or finish a course of study? When they move out? How about when they get a kid or a puppy? What about when the divide is less clear?

I have felt for the last few years that my death was a certainty and not far away. I don’t feel that any more. My life is still somewhat precarious and I am still somewhat laissez faires about the possibility of my demise but I do believe now that, all things being equal I am probably not about to die in the next few years. That is a scary thought to make external. It feels as if I am tempting the universe to prove me wrong. That fear though is a good sign.

I still have anxiety, I still have dark days when I wonder what the point is but I have accepted now that this is what my life is and what it will be for the foreseeable future so I intend to make my life, such as it is, as quantitatively good as I can, given  the limited sources and energy I have to hand.

The nazis have started their march towards defeat and late capitalism crumbles under the stream of brexit’s stupidity. There is nothing like racism to expose the evil in the world and motivate the just to fight it.

I have hope, true hope, for the first time in a long time and I have my writing. My writing that brings me so much pleasure. There will be people that hate it because it’s weird or because they consider a man writing about submissive women inherently sexist or creepy. That is going to happen and I can’t stop it but I will continue my writing because I know women are just as keen to write and read stuff about submissive women.

Anyway. Merry new year. Here’s to new beginnings.